40 days

It's been a while since I've blogged, probably a good year or so. I've dropped my old blog and am starting fresh instead.

Over the last half year or so life has taken some unexpected turns and I'm at a point where I need to sit down and evaluate where I want to go. Sounds so easy. In reality, sitting down and not doing anything for any length of time just seemed to elicit panicky feelings and resulted in a) eating chocolate b) doing a 3rd workout for the day c) allowing myself to get distracted by the internet.
I did manage to be still enough to remember what has worked for me in the past.
That was:
- read something positive every day
- practice yoga
- write down 3 things to be grateful for every day
- put distance between me and people who are not good for me
There are a few more, but those were the ones that really stood out.
As usual, I do things backwards, so I've begun with #4. #4 was hard, because I generally like to please and want people to like me. So for me to say "there is no room in my life for you" is hard. Especially when you're forced to deal with this person on a regular basis. And when others will ask what happened.

Anyway, this is just supposed to be a little log of what I'm doing so I stay on track a bit easier.
The title "2 more" is my new mantra. Whenever a workout gets tough I tell myself "do 2 more". 2 is more than one, so you do get ahead a bit faster, but not as daunting as, say 5. You almost always have 2 more in the bag. Baby steps, but still moving forward.
I'll also go and try this for 40 days and then reevaluate. 40 days is a good number for change, so I picked that one. Besides I don't like the number 30.
I'll try to approach this without my usual "bang-it-out-Susa" attitude, where I get so stuck on "have to" and "should" so I will not beat myself up over a missed yoga practice or not writing every day.

Today is Wednesday and since I'll be teaching class tonight I will actually skip this morning's workout. My body is so sore and tired, walking up the stairs feels like it's too much. Yes, a week ago I would have gone to the gym nonetheless and pushed through yet another workout. Gone home depleted and repeated the same thing in the evening. Today's different.
Instead, I'll do an easy yoga practice. And walk.

Edited to add the positive reading for the day:

"Unless we believe in our fundamental goodness, we cannot see the goodness in others. Jai!"
That one is from Judith Hansone Lasater, one of my favorite yoga teachers. If you're around her, it's like insta-calm.

Yoga practice felt good, couple of standing poses, easy balances. Might need to follow a guided practice again though, I'm not doing good left to my own devices I think.